Sloth Superhero

Captain America: Civil War hits theaters today! I have been a fan of superheroes my whole life, and it's pretty amazing to see so many great big screen adaptations over the years. I'm pretty sure I'm #TeamCap, but I do have a very strong affinity for Tony Stark so we'll see where I end up landing.

Anyways, the point of this lab note is for me to admit that one time I made up a ground sloth superhero. I was writing a weekly column for iFanboy at the time so I needed to come up with something to say each week. One week I decided to make a list of animals I really thought should have superheroes of them. It can't all just be Falcons and Ants. After I wrote up my descriptions iFanboy reader D.C. Stuelpner went and drew the characters and they looked awesome! Here's what I wrote and D.C. drew for the hero dubbed... Megatherium!

"While exploring the Amazon, Xavier Mykenos stumbled upon a hidden tribe of native Amazonians. These Amazons had tamed one of the most impressive beasts of old, the Giant Ground Sloth. Thought to be extinct, Xavier took the opportunity to further science by living with the tribe and learning their ways. Eventually they allowed him to become a full-fledged member of their group, teaching him their mystic means of empathic sloth control. Now whenever he needs to, Xavier can call upon the spirits of the behemoth, transforming him into the lumbering titan known as MEGATHERIUM.

The powerhouse of the squad. He’s slow, but tough. And look at those claws! Kind of a Sasquatch + Wolverine cranked all the way up to eleven. Osteoderms (aka bits of bone) under the skin made him as durable as bane, and believe it or not, he can float! While he can’t match Mantis Shrimp or Titanis for speed, he can take punishment while dishing it out. Surprisingly, Xavier is also a master of camouflage, as he emits no odor, can move through dense forest silently, and can remain hiding from view for millennia (theoretically, at least).

Favorite political issue: Immigration, he floated from South America to Florida several million years before it was cool."

 

You can read the original post here. The post was popular enough that I followed it up with some villains. You can read about them here. And the rest of D.C.'s drawings here.

So just in case you didn't think I was nerdy enough, here you go...